I said goodbye last week to my last grandparent, my grandmother Ellen. As I helped my mother and her siblings make arrangements, it made me reflect on funeral customs of some of the countries we were blessed to travel in.
Funeral rites are as old as civilization itself. The customs are as varied as the cultures and religions that created them. In Italy, there are funeral posters put up for the recently departed. There is a full mass and wakes are a subdued affair. Cremation is still not as prevalent as in other countries but the Catholic Church no longer frowns quite so much on it.
A hodja in the smaller cities and towns of Turkey will call the people for the funeral. The deceased is washed and shrouded and the funeral occurs as soon as possible after death.
The Hindus of Bali cremate their dead on elaborate pyres where the body is in the belly of a bull. We learned that this is expensive and that sometimes the family will bury the family member until they can afford the cremation ceremony. Often 40 or 50 families will get together and pool their rupiah and have a large ceremony that can last up to 2 weeks.
It was very common for us to see cremation ceremonies around Bali during our time there and I admired the respect and care with which they took with their departed.
Made, our hostess in Ubud, told us of a massive cremation where her uncle was finally cremated after his death a few years earlier. The entire village takes place in the ceremonies honoring the deceased villagers. After the cremation the ashes are scattered in the ocean. I found this interesting as I learned last week that it is illegal in Canada and considered littering. As Canada is a melting pot of cultures I wonder if this way of thinking will eventually change here.
No matter how each country we visited dealt with death, grief is the same everywhere. Everyone must pass from this life and will have someone who grieves for them. There is beauty in the traditions of death just as there is in the traditions of birth. At the end it is all the cycle of life.
As I reflect on my grandmother and her life I count my blessings that I had her as long as I had. Life is not about how many possessions you have at the end of it but how much love you had. And in that measure, Ellen Lyle Smith had a rich life. I shall miss you Nana.
Ellen Lyle Smith 1924-2011
January 24th, 2011 - 11:56 am
Thinking of you and your family at this time. I never meet my grandfathers and both of my grandmothers passed away when I was six. You were very lucky to have know them. Take care. Aunt Marie